There’s No Place to Get

I’ve decided to put to bed the part of me that needs to have things be a certain way. I’m moving slower, breathing deeper, worrying less and being with what is, without the need to make it different. I feel a certain knowing that I’m fine just as I am. I don’t need to make anything happen because what is happening is and feels perfect.

In my new languid approach to life, I can have a desire and hold it close to me until I’m inspired to take action—or not. I can allow my wants to manifest (or better yet be magnetized to me!) without erecting the roadblocks of urgency and desperation.

The other day I realized that I hadn’t spoken that day with the man I’ve been seeing. I thought about texting or calling him, and then I decided that it was fine not to be in touch. The entire evening passed, and we didn’t communicate at all. We’d talk when we do. Simple.

In the past, I’d have followed the desire to take action on my feelings and thoughts. But I’ve invited space into my life, and within that space I trust that things will work themselves out and be exactly what they should be—without my assistance. I can take my hands off something and watch it unfold in a way that’s much better than it would have had I messed with it. There are relationships in my life that are broken or have cracks in them. In the past this was a no-no for me. I’d have to mend the rift, make amends, and work things out to my liking. I couldn’t accept that someone was upset with me. But recently, I’m fine with it. I don’t need to tie up every relationship in a nice little bow. Everyone doesn’t have to think I’m great or a good friend.

Many years ago I was angry with someone and did something that really hurt her feelings in reaction. For months I tried to talk to her about it, hoping to clear the air and move forward, but she always refused. About five years later she reached out to me to work out our differences. By then I’d made peace with the experience, forgiven us both, and released it. I told her that I was willing to talk and listen to her, but I was no longer holding any ill feelings and didn’t need to process it any longer. I’d apologized and didn’t feel the need to revisit the event; I’d moved on. This experience taught me that some things actually don’t need to be addressed right away. Sometimes doing nothing is the thing to do.

The gift is that I feel present. I feel soft and willing. I trust the universe is on my side, and I’m safe right now. All is well, and my life just gets better and better.

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